Okay. Enough snow! Enough cold! I'm done.
I wanna move to Florida. No. Too wet.
I wanna move to Arizona! No. Too hot.
When we started work on this, the second of our holiday gift guides, while brainstorming for content the editor suggested I write a column.
“It’s been a while since you wrote one so I want to see a Christmas column,” he said. “And don’t be a grinch.”
I’m sure I gave him a less than charitable look at that comment, which probably just reinforced the whole grinch thing. But it offended me a little bit. I’m not a grinch! I can be filled with just as much ho-ho-holiday spirit as anybody! I think.
So in my newfound quest to prove that I wasn’t a grinch, I drove home that night plotting to haul out our Christmas lights and give Clark Griswald a run for his money. The problem with this, however, was that when I ventured into the garage to find our plastic tubs of Christmas décor, that the Halloween decorations were blocking them. Not just blocking, either. Our animated deer were hemmed in by skeletons, evil clowns and an entire fake stone wall.
This actually isn't quite as crazy as it sounds. My husband and I sell Halloween props and decorations, so our house is fairly full of the Halloweeny spirit year-round. Or, maybe that makes it sound more crazy… oh well. Nonetheless, the deer were wedged in pretty well, so I decided to move on to something easier. The garland was right there next to the gargoyles — bingo!
Unfortunately, when I tried to plug in the strings of pretty lighted garland to test them, all of them were dead. All of them. We’re talking six six-foot garlands!
I made a mental note to never buy garland from Wal-Mart again and moved on to the house lights. At least they worked, and they’re pretty. A few years ago we invested in some fancy-schmancy chasing lights with several settings to put along the roofline. The problem with this, however, was that putting those up required getting out the ladder and scurrying around on the roof like a mountain goat. Forget that.
We have those net lights for our shrubs, but one look at the tangled mess in that box was enough to make me take a break and go make myself a glass of liquid holiday cheer. Thusly fortified, I moved on to the spiffy candles that we use to line our driveway. Unfortunately, I had forgotten that last year some friendly neighborhood hooligans had played soccer with them and we hadn't replaced the broken set.
It seemed like the imp of the perverse was determined to prove the editor right - I might as well get out the green facepaint. But, stubborn as I am, I forged ahead. Surely there was something I could put out? The lit ornaments for the tree in the yard? Couldn't find the extension cord. The big twinkly snowflake for the front of the house? Yeah, no. There was the ladder issue again.
One of the boxes jingled, and after a little digging I found our bell wreath. Finally, something I could handle. I proudly put it on the front door, got another drink and rested easy. Grinch that.
Well, hey! I still have this thing...
Happy Fourth, todos!
Aeeiiieee! I haven't posted here for more than a year! Sad.
I still live, however.
In 2007, iamslarti
Go writing three times a week.
Apply for a new farscape.
Become a better halloween.
Cut down on my reading.
Drink four glasses of music every day.
Overcome my secret fear of animatronics.
I just got back from two hours of Christmas cheer in the freezing cold. Why do people think "Christmas on the River" is a GOOD thing?
And why, oh why, would you have a stealth bomber flyover at a NIGHT event? Dur.
Dave Cockrum, creator of Nightcrawler, died this morning.
Words fail. I met him in person only once, but knew him online for several years. He was a good man.
Ugh. I had a crappy weekend. Drama Friday at work, drama with my dad, a slow night at the haunted house... Then Saturday my father decided to show my in-laws his complete lack of social skills. I ended up getting into it with my father-in-law too. The haunted house was okay, and we made quite a bit of money, but I'm not sure we'll be doing it again. Too. Much. Drama.
Scott's flight was late Sunday too, and so Monday I was exhausted at work. Today is Halloween, and while the part of me not too tired to care is excited about that, it's not excited enough to decorate. The neigborhood kids will be disappointed. I may have to work late too.
I've decided to spend tommorrow recuperating, but I will have to work as well. Then I'm rejoining the gym, going on a diet and trying to be less moody.
Now I gotta get back to work...
Okay, gotta rant before I go 'splodey. This morning I actually got to work early, had all my stuff packed for spending the weekend 50 miles from home to work at the haunted house and was feeling pretty good about the day. I should have known better.
The fun started when I couldn't get Internet access or onto the file server at work. One of the owners came in and started working to fix it and got the server up, but not the Internet, thusly began the waiting on Time Warner Cable. Since I had my laptop with me I brought it in and pirated the Internet access from the cafe next door. So now I've got the only Web access in the building and everyone needs me to look crap up for them.
Then we had a staff meeting because there was a typo on the front page this week (partially my fault), three ads got left out of the paper (not my fault) and the printer ran out of black ink (WTF!?). So that was fun.
We've had spotty server access all day, and my pirated connection is not so hot either. So I'm getting squat done. Then my dad calls, and my grandfather is sick so he can't come up to babysit the dogs while I'm out of town. I still don't know what the hell to do about that.
So I'm half-ass trying to get some work done on my laptop when I hear a big thud outside our office. Our flag, complete with the metal bracket, pulled out of the stucco and crashed into the sidewalk outside, narrowly missing the county recorder of deeds, who was about to come in the door. Nice!
THEN the police scanner goes off, and one of the banks in town has been robbed. That doesn't often happen here, as this is a pretty small suburb.
And I've still got the only Internet connection. So we're going to have to download all the office e-mail through my laptop and try to transfer it to the server and hope nothing crashes.
I wonder what will go wrong next. And I wonder if the dogs can grow thumbs in time to let themselves out to go to the bathroom tonight. I'm sure not letting my mother back in the house after Tuesday.
The haunted house is a resounding success this year! In one weekend we’ve made more money than we did in three weekends last year. That’s awesome, but it’s a mixed blessing. That means we’ll be doing it again next year. I think I killed Halloween for myself last year because I’m still just not feeling the season much. Oh well, I’ll just get through this year, and by the time we start working on the next season (which will be January-February 2007) maybe I’ll be enthused about this again.
Honestly, I did have fun acting last weekend. Oh! And my nose is so far unbroken, so that’s already an improvement over last year! I was only spit on once too! Go me! And, a guy I worked with 11 years ago at my first haunted house (a baaad hayride) came by to visit Friday night. That was pretty fun, in a deja-vuey kind of way. He brought me a copy of the news program we were featured on at that crappy haunted hayride. It was trippy seeing myself in pretty much the same zombie makeup as more than a decade ago.